Victory

This dreadful battle is finally complete. And by virtue of me simply being able to walk away from it, physically and mentally, I can declare victory despite the fact that I am banged up a little. I know the bigger fight is still in progress--I would be foolish to think otherwise--but this represents a huge step in the right direction. A huge step in gaining and keeping the upper hand in my fight against cancer.

I wish that I had some nuggets of wisdom to share with you, but I haven't yet had a chance to reflect on the entire experience. There was some mental preparation that was required at the beginning to make it through. Of course, there were also ongoing mental approaches, or postures, or whatever you want to call them, that I had to maintain throughout the treatment. Once I am able to begin letting go of those, or at least changing how they are manifest in my daily life, then I think I'll be better able to understand my experience.

All I know for now is that I couldn't have, and didn't, do this alone. I was reminded of this on my way out of the hospital this morning. I had in my hand the cursed mask that I had been forced to wear for the previous seven weeks during treatment. (I had asked the technicians if I could keep it and they had said yes. There are a lot of life lessons in that mask and it will serve as a good reminder to me later on in good times and when I think life is hard.) As I stopped at the front desk to validate my parking ticket, the lady behind the desk looked up at me and with a huge smile on her face that almost matched the size of the smile on my face said, "Last day of treatment, huh? Congratulations!" Through my battle-scarred mouth I could simply mumble, "Thanks."

And with that, I turned and walked out the door, trophy in hand.