Alicia's Story, cont.

As I mentioned yesterday, there is a young woman who works at the San Francisco Chronicle who is writing about her cancer experience as a 23-year-old. Without question, it is some of the best writing I have ever had the pleasure to read. I don't know if it is because I can identify so closely with many of her thoughts, fears, and experiences, or if empirically it is just good, solid writing. I'm beyond the point of being without bias on these things, but obviously, she is a good writer, otherwise the Chronicle would not have given her a 7-part series to share her story.

Today was the 4th chapter. Every time I read more of Alicia's story, I am completely blown away by the similarities--not in our medical cases, but in the emotional roller coaster. In a way, I feel like it validates what I have felt so many times but was afraid to express. And I suppose that this is a big reason why I look forward to every new installment of her story. So, if you take the time to read her story and don't find it as nearly as compelling as I obviously do, count your blessings because the chances are the fears and doubts and ups and downs expressed in her writing are foreign enough to you that they shouldn't make sense. I pray that it will remain that way for all of you.

But before I sign off for this session, I must include one segment from Chapter 4 of her story that was printed today. Here we find Alicia describing her emotions after sharing with a psychologist at her hospital in San Francisco the way that she really felt.

Thank God she understood. I was getting sick of people telling me that they knew I would be fine. No one knew anything. The doctors didn't know, I didn't know and these people praying for me didn't know. I was thankful for their prayers, but I wanted to be honest. To say "I'm scared I'm going to die" and not be yelled at for being negative.

I've been to this point. I've even said some of these exact same words to some well-meaning friends. It is a place that is hard to describe. It is a place where you really feel alone--more alone than any other place you have ever been.