A Hard Goodbye

The rain was a God-send. It was difficult enough to actually drive myself to the airport willingly. Here I was, in California, more importantly, in Pacific Daylight Time where 90% of my friends and family and reside and, once again, I was returning to the airport so that I could fly back east...and for what? There are things that I like about both coasts, but the West Coast has so many more that's it's not even worth trying to draw up distinctions. The two can't be compared.

Nevertheless, here I was with the top up on the convertible that I had rented for the week for the first time because of weather--probably the one thing that made it feasible for me to actually leave California behind me...again. After it was all said and done, I actually missed my flight and had to fly stand-by on the next one and didn't get "home" until 12:30 the next morning and since all forms of public transportation and friends were shut down for the night, I had to shell out a hefty $53 for a cab ride from Dulles airport. By the time I got home and in bed, it was about 1:45 a.m. and I couldn't sleep because it was only 10:45 the night before to me. Somehow I was able to wake up the next morning and get into the office in time for a 10 a.m. meeting. The next day was even more difficult to wake up for and I nearly didn't because I slept through my alarm clock.

Of course none of this was made better when I found in my inbox an email from my mother explaining the complications that my dad had had due to his major surgery the Friday prior. Luckily, he pulled out of it and the doctors were able to get him stabilized but it meant that he would have to stay in the hospital longer which means a longer recovery most likely. I've joked about it before, but I'm really looking forward to 2006. This calendar year has not been kind to me or my family and I'm ready to start over!

Today is Thursday and after getting more or less acclimated to east coast time again, I feel very good. I would say that this afternoon was the best that I have felt since before my radiation treatment began. (By the way, tomorrow will mark exactly one month since my last radiation treatment. It hardly seems possible!) Physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually--I felt and feel incredibly balanced for the first time in as long as I can remember. It just feels very good to crack jokes and laugh again without being in pain. I didn't realize how much I had missed that. Obviously my hope is that this continues.

It's just funny how things that used to be important cease to be that way. It's a value system that not too long ago I probably would have characterized as upside-down.